Goals For Fall Break

I tend to create goals for myself that I cannot achieve. I expect to accomplish too much in a day, and I realize that. I guess since I never actually accomplish everything I set out to do, I have this feeling that if I put fewer things on my to-do list, I won't finish that shorter list, either. Still, even though I always include "low priority items" that I know will just end up first on tomorrow's To Do list, I end up lying awake at night, unable to sleep because all I can think about are the things I've left undone, and the possible repercussions for my "slacker" behavior. I got to thinking about that today when I told my housemate Deanna that I didn't get as much done over fall break as I intended (a common refrain for me). "I didn't do anything productive at ALL on Thursday," I moaned. "I should have done something on Thursday so I wouldn't have to worry so much today."
After that, we talked about our breaks, and I realized that, even though I didn't complete all my To Dos, I did do a lot of stuff over break, even though I felt like I'd been a lazy bum. Why do I feel like a lazy bum? Because I didn't complete the things that I supposedly "needed" to do. I told Deanna about the fun things I did on Wednesday with the caveat that "The stuff I did on Wednesday was fun and I enjoyed it, and I got to spend time with my family, but..." Although the words I was saying made it seem like I recognize that family time is important, the tone that I was using clearly indicated that my actions are at odds with my words. I wanted to blog about my continual failure to "get things done," and my high stress level this semester, because I keep "slacking off." Why don't I focus more on school? Why don't I do everything I need to do?
I realized that when I talk like that, I'm making myself feel like I am a slacker, when I'm not even close to failing any of my classes. More importantly, I'm learning a LOT, both inside and outside of class. Isn't that what I'm going to college for? To learn? Am I learning? Yes, definitely.
So why do I pay attention only to my failures?
Why do I act like things that aren't assigned for me to do are unimportant?
Why do I put things on my list that I know I will never complete?
Why don't I focus on all the things I did get done this week?

With all these questions in mind, here is my special list for today. Instead of making a To Do list, I'm going to make a Have Done list for my fall break.

Watched The Darjeeling Limited with Mom and Dad, which means that I have now watched every Wes Anderson film.
Wrote two journals for my Groups class.
Read half of The Help, a book for my friend Danyella's book club.
Made collages with Mom and my sisters.
Wrote 20 pages of a script I'm working on with Nick.
Beat three bosses in Super Mario Bros Wii with my siblings and my friend Kevin.
Talked with Zach about his life and my life.
Wrote a KWL for Comm Theory.
Read three books of the Bible.
Went to a bonfire with some friends from church who I rarely see.
Studied for my New Testament Exam for 4 hours.
Spent an afternoon (and a late night) having a jam session with my entire family (including Mom, who can now play ukulele!)
Went to a choir concert my dad performed in.
Ate dinner with my family multiple times.
Talked to my old choir director.
Went to church.
Talked to my friend Alyssa on the phone,
Watched Taxi Driver for History and Theory of Film.
Did a load of laundry.
Hung out with my family in general.
Watched an entire movie with my little sisters (which is, unfortunately, rare for me, since I usually leave them half-way through to do something else).

That is a lot of stuff for someone to do in a fairly limited amount of time. And all of that was beneficial to me. And all of it was good for me to do. I didn't waste my time this fall break. I think I actually spent my time really well. I'm going to focus on that, instead of the two items on my To Do list that I didn't complete.