Also, a lot of things that I wanted to write about seemed like things that I probably shouldn't just post on a blog because they were too personal, and I'm an over-sharer, I think. So I kept starting to write about things that were probably too much.
I'm home for the summer, which is a little weird to get used to, but not too bad. Basically the hardest part is when people ask what my plans are, and my plans are pretty much "take some time off and not have any plans."
All right, my plans are to write. That doesn't sound impressive. And it doesn't sound like a summer job, which is what everyone else's plans are.
The thing is, this past year has been WONDERFUL, but probably the busiest year of my life. By finals I was totally stressed out, and I need some down time. That's the truth. Because I did everything this year, I think. I co-wrote a play, I directed a film, I took classes, I had a vibrant social life... I mean, that's all pretty normal college stuff, but whatever.
I'm writing stuff that I feel like no one cares about right now.
I'm getting worse at small talk, I think. I used to think I was getting better at it, but I think I'm getting worse. I played guitar and sang for this club thing that took place at my church, and all these women were asking me things about my life, and they knew the kinds of things to ask because they found out I was a college student. What am I supposed to ask people about? Most of the women were over the age of 60, and none of them talked about jobs, so I think they were all retired. Can't ask them about that. And I feel like that's the only thing I can ask people about that isn't weird. Here's the thing: I think I'm much worse at small talk at home and at church because Mom keeps everyone updated on my life, but obviously she doesn't tell me about what's happening to everyone at church every time I talk to her. So I can't just walk up to them and say, "So, what's happening in your life? Anything?" and then grill them about that. Maybe I should take the time to find out more about people's lives, I dunno.
Maybe everyone knows this, but when I get interested in things, I decide to learn all about them. The last thing I did this with was the Beatles (obviously) like, three years ago. Now I'm getting obsessed with SNL. This isn't exactly new; I've wanted to write for SNL since last year. I'm reading this book that I got for Dad for Christmas, and it's called "Live From New York," and it's this whole history of SNL, but it's all people talking about it in interviews. It's probably not super-accurate, and the writers who compiled it all are obviously all misty-eyed over the original cast (not that I'm saying the original cast wasn't FANTASTIC) but they're all venerating the show and making the whole thing kind of melodramatic, which I don't really like when I'm reading cultural stuff, but it's a good book. The best thing about it is that I'm pretty sure that writing for SNL is an accomplishable goal. They usually get young writers who haven't done anything before, but show talent. That's probably me. I'm not a genius or something, but I think I'm a pretty funny person, generally speaking. I'm capable of making people laugh. I think it's a lot more likely that I'll write for SNL than a lot of other things I've wanted to do. The thing that freaks me out is that so many of the original cast and writers, and even writers and cast members today, are so young! They're like, 23. I'm 20! I haven't done a single thing with my life, and my life feels like it's going to be over very soon. It makes me want to just drop out of school and go to New York. But that would be silly because I don't know anything and I don't have any connections. Also I like school.
Anyway, probably none of this is of general interest. I'm losing my knack for writing blogs, maybe. Ugh.
